Pogonophobia - the fear of beards.

Well, boys ands girls, ladies and gentlemen, have you noticed?  Beards are everywhere!  Is it any surprise that many people are now suffering from serious cases of pogonophobia?  I, for one, can hardly turn on commercial television for fear of seeing the bearded David Beckham ignore the washing up while he checks the football scores (you would think he could afford a dishwasher with all his money, never mind a razor).  Even Jeremy Paxman (the feared presenter of BBC's Newsnight), appeared on TV last week sporting a beard.  Scores of people up and down the country were reported to have screamed at their TV sets: "No! Jeremy! No!"

So, why a beard?  I seem to remember that, in Shakespeare, a beard represented a certain manly worthiness.  The solid, dependable, Kent from King Lear insults another character for being a "barber-monger" (i.e. for shaving too often).  So, perhaps beards are an outward showing of good old-fashioned real-manliness? Or, on the other hand, are they the male equivalent of more feminine cosmetic grooming? Are they something to hide behind - a sign of deep insecurity or self loathing? (Thank you for this Herr Jung). Dare I suggest that some men simply can't be bothered to shave?! I don't know.  Whatever - beards are here, and so is pogonophobia.  Now, has anyone seen my Bic?